I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
