we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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