dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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