I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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