the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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