He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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