It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is wine microwaveable?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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