so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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