We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
