every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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