If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
