I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize