"it" just moved
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
