I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
