I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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