I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
