Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
how does that bad decision feel?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
