I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize