ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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