Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
