Can i not drive my cunt home
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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