he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
