My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
D3 body, D1 cock
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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