grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
PANTIES FOUND
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize