Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.