lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
