Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

Fav 3 1349 1597
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

Fav 14 6389 1045
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

Fav 10 1293 3421
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.

Fav 34 1989 4373
share tweet
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge

Fav 5 2281 1284
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.

Fav 6 1895 953
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(936): View more from Texas

You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

Fav 13 4191 1185
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese

(818): View more from California

They know nothing, John Stoned.

Fav 2 1112 490
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

Fav 4 34 67
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT