You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
