im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
