I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
