Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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