so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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