so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
