Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
