I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize