Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When are your genitals available?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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