...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
