weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
