I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
