Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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