using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
