haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
