Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
