Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He has the fingertips of a God
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