every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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