Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
