I want to have your abortion
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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