Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize