Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
PANTIES FOUND
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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