i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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