He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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