Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
In America we eat man semen.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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