I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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