she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
