Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How external is "for external use only"?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
