note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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