Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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