you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
