She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
