I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize