You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
