I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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