I feel great
I just peed on a car
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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