you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
