Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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