She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
