My balls are so social today.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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