Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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