can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
