your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
