And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
