if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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