That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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